to women, most of us, to me
having no men in our lives pose emotional burden, at least the time being
2 serious relationships end when i was no where in my life
the 1st was when i dropped out of A levels and worked
the 2nd, current one, when i'm waiting for Uni next year Jan
did i chose to be left with nothing when i already had nothing?
work is boring, no new people to mingle with, no new work experience to learn, backstabbers everywhere
friends are busy with their own partners, their work, their school
i can't rely on them 100%
i was cold, i was a workaholic in RP, i kept myself busy with work, i numbed myself with school work, with cca, with friends, therefore i can fight loneliness
a woman need a partner to rely on, i realised all this while though i was independent and had a career woman character,
deep in my heart, i'm a woman, with a soft heart, wanting and needing a man to rely on emotionally
having no man to look forward to meet, to go dinner with, to miss, to call, to sms, to think about, to talk to, to go walks with, to travel/drive with, to buy stuffs with, to look at things at, to smile at, to laugh at, to share, to complain, IS SAD...
i believe this is the truth for women, that without a man, we can't have a complete heart/life
women are creatures who give and want to receive love
man are just suckers, suckers for sex, for company, for a break in their routine, for receiving love, how much emotions do they invest in us women?
my life now is blank, but i'm filling it up with a new job in the bank hoepfully (which i will know by mon/tue), to learn driving, carry on my part time job over the weekend, meeting up with friends and hoping to keep myself busy till school comes
life sucks! we can't have everything we want to have, we always have to lose some, to feel pain, to regret, to grow stronger emotionally
but will all these make our hearts hardened to ourselves and others? will our happiness and smile be indeed from our hearts?
only we know.
yes, women have to love ourselves more than loving men.
